Make Space for Heart-Centered Intentions

January 4, 2015

sunset_OBHere we are again, at the turning of another year. As arbitrary as the date “January 1” is in so many ways, it does bring with it the seed of awakening. Like the space between breaths, it presents us with the opportunity to pause, to honor and reflect on what came before, and to wonder about, plant seeds for, and even envision what is yet to come.

It is the time of year we often set goals and commit to changes in our lives. These are usually called “New Year’s Resolutions”. I personally have a reaction to the word “resolution” due to the energy of intensity, single-mindedness, inflexibility, determination and even tension I associate with it. It implies an endpoint, or a final goal which must be reached, which feels limiting, and can be a set-up for failure.

How many new year’s “resolutions” have you managed to keep perfectly over time? I imagine that for most of us, this form of achievement is the anomaly rather than the norm. And the feelings of inadequacy that so often prompt the resolutions are at the root of so much suffering in our own lives and in our culture as a whole.

So instead, I practice intention-setting: identifying and committing to practices or shifts that serve my highest good and that of others, with the awareness that on this path there might well be setbacks, or difficulties, and that I might make mistakes, and I might forget, and I might fall down. I will try and learn from those pitfalls/detours, wake up to them, and then return to the path, re-commit to the intention, and go forth with new wisdom and hopefully a stronger capacity for sticking with my dream, hope, intention, desire — ideally without adding a whole pile of self-judgement that will just complicate matters and make the path muddier, longer, rockier and more isolated.

In setting intentions, or resolutions, or goals, or whatever name feels right to you for this process, here are some thoughts that might be helpful:

**Make some time for inquiry.
Inquire about the motivation behind the intention. Are you coming from a place of guilt, shame, self-critique, self-judgement, even self-hatred? Are you coming from a place of worry, anxiety, fear, competition, or ego? Or are you coming from a place of love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and a desire for healing? A simple investigation into what lies underneath the intention can be very informative, and help you weed out which ones have the most strength, value and potential for success and good karma behind them (the ones that come from love, of course!)

**Don’t overdo it. A list of 10 things is probably too big. Maybe pick the one that feels the most important, and the one that feels the most attainable, and start with those two.

**Find the middle way. We need enough discipline to put in the effort required to make the change, do the work, practice, whatever it is. But we also need enough flexibility to allow space for the inevitable wobbles and instability and confusion and setbacks that come with most transitions. Find the midpoint between compulsion and laziness, and you’re on the right track.

**Don’t do it alone. If possible, share your intention with someone, and listen to theirs. This introduces not only a level of accountability, but also the opportunity for support, and the simple beauty of revealing our deepest desire and most tender heart to another human being.

**Don’t force it.
In order for them to hold, changes (especially the big ones) require us to have some sort of support network in place, a deep understanding of the cravings behind the unhealthy behaviors, a readiness that can’t be manufactured. Deciding to make a big change arbitrarily on a given date (Jan 1) might work out, but it might also backfire if the deep will and understanding aren’t yet there. So having wisdom around what difficulties might present themselves, and having in place some form of support (people, systems, community, groups, alternatives, whatever!) before jumping in is probably wise.

**Make it a daily practice.
While the first of the year provides an obvious opportunity to take stock and make change, we can also consider every day (every moment, even!) a little microcosm of this turning point. In every single moment, we have the opportunity to set and manifest intentions to act in ways that are more loving and kind, to commit or recommit to some sort of daily spiritual practice, to forgive, to serve, to share our wisdom. We don’t have to wait, white-knuckling it, through a whole year until January 1 to live a life full of promise, inspiration and positive shifts!

I will leave you with a link to Thich Nhat Hanh’s powerful and on-the-mark Five Mindfulness Trainings for something to consider in the realm of intentions, promises, vows, commitment. It is worth ten minutes of your time to read these through. Personally, they have provided me with much strength and a guiding light for how to live ethically and joyfully. I think you might find them beautiful, touching and inspirational as we head into a new year!

And here is the simplified version he offers to children (the Two Promises):

* I vow to develop understanding in order to live peacefully
with people, animals, plants, and minerals.
* I vow to develop my compassion in order to protect the lives
of people, animals, plants, and minerals.

Now that’s a very fine place to start 😉

May you be happy, healthy, safe and at peace,
Charity


Sit Breath Love: Guided Meditations for Children and their Grown-Ups

January 3, 2015

SBL_9_600Dear friends,

In conjunction with the birth of the new year, we are very excited to announce the birth of a new JAM project:

Sit Breathe Love:
Guided Meditations for Children and their Grown-Ups

Listen + Download Here

Our intention is to share every month or so a new guided meditation you can listen to and practice with the children in your family or classroom. Click the “Follow” button on the download page to be notified when we add new ones.

These meditations will be in the mindfulness vein, and will touch on such areas as awareness of breath, cultivation of lovingkindness and non-harming, mindful listening, body scans, gratitude, joy, difficult feelings, and beyond.

Our January offering is called “Ball of Light Meditation”. You can use this guided meditation with your children when you’d like to cultivate a little peace and love. Try it at bedtime, or perhaps in the morning before leaving the house, to plant seeds of presence, calm and kindness. Listen, relax, and enjoy!

I use these meditations in my JAMcamps with children aged 4-10, but you can try with younger and older children, too, and see what happens.

Perhaps the most important thing is to model for your children your commitment to cultivating your own mindfulness. So do the practices with them as often as you can! You will show them, via embodiment, that it is important to you, too, and that you have faith in its value.

We would love to hear about how, where and when you use these practices, and how your children respond to them. So stay in touch!

May you be happy, healthy, safe and at peace in the new year and always 😉

Take care,
Charity